Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Oh Babies!

Hello out there! Just wanted to share a mini album that I made for a sweet church friend that had twin boys. Tons of different companies used and I realized you get a nice look a my very ink stained dirty fingernails, lets just ignore that part, LOL. I have 16 year old twin girls so I can totally relate to her. Having twins is INSANITY. First you usually have some kind of difficulty during your pregnancy. Bed rest, one growing more than the other, high blood pressure, and twice the pregnancy nuisances. I delivered the twins almost 2 months early via C-Section. NO fun! Then after they are born you are worried about them thriving. This is in addition to being sleep deprived and lets not mention the expense involved and your hormones going CRAZY twice as much! I remember just breaking down like my dog had died because they went through a case of diapers (yes, a case from Costco) in like 3 days. I was totally hormonal and exhausted. As much as I struggled and thought it would never end, I miss it. This being said, I also got a horrible case of the baby blues. Like crying at the drop of a hat, feeling overall hopeless and miserable and then feeling guilty for not being elated that, despite the odds, I had 2 healthy little babies. Two years later we added a little sister to our collection of children. They are now teenagers two 16 year olds and a 14 year old, all girls.

   All I can say is I MISS THOSE DAYS. I miss the days that I could hold them, feed them, change them and their needs were met. These days we are in now are about preparing them for the big scary world out there. For letting them slowly interact with all of those strangers that you told them never to speak to, to talk to boys that could break their hearts, make decisions that could impact their lives forever. The worst part of all? The look you get from them when they are little of total adoration is gone. Yes, heartbreaking. This Momma does not want to let go. I'm certain that sometimes my heart actually hurts at the thought of all of the temptations and dangers out there. I am so in awe of my family and all of my dear church friends that I see beaming as they see their children take successful steps to adulthood. I see daughters getting married in the temple, sons going on missions, going off to college. Now that I am in the trenches I understand what a battle, journey, odyssey (insert dramatic word)  it is.
  I'm going to get a little Jesus in here, how much did it hurt Heavenly Father to send his son out in the cruel world. I have worked so hard to keep my daughters safe and have a happy childhood. What is that in comparison to what He went through. How does He feel when he sees all of us making bad decisions? He has sent us all of the tools we need to succeed but how many times do we refuse them and think we know it all. We do not need any help. The feeling I get with my daughters of wanting them to know at their young age what I know now at an older age is impossible. Yet is still wish. How does Heavenly Father feel? Gives me so much to think about.

The other day I was upset and told my Husband that I wish I knew what to do next to help them and keep them safe. I wondered why was all of this happening. He just told me, " when you look in the mirror can you honestly say to yourself that you've done your best so far?"  I thought for a moment and answered , "I can honestly say that considering all of the circumstances,  yes" I had been praying so much for wisdom and for peace. This simple question from my Husband brought me back to reality and out things into perspective. We both came from very sad childhoods and our Grandmothers were our Guardian Angels, so we know bad childhoods. My girls still have free agency and they will have to make mistakes and stumble. But my job as Mom is to never give up the fight, I've been entrusted with these little spirits by Heavenly Father and I have a job to do. Yeah world, I'm going to fight you to the end for my Babies. Because they are my heart and they will still always be those little girls with pigtails and overalls at the playground.  

Sorry to go on and on but one of the reasons for this blog was to have something for myself to share and create. Maybe one person will read this and not feel so alone. So I made this for my sweet friend because I cannot picture her having any time for scrapping her sweet little boys stuff. I know that the first 6 months go by in a whirlwind so hopefully this will help her remember a little bit.

Thank you for visiting, until next time Amigas.

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